From Halloween to Thanksgiving

After doing the 3 Day walk, the school costume parade was two short days later. When I got to school that morning, Marissa was sleeping very soundly in her crib so I figured she would not be donning the Minnie Mouse costume for the event. Rob and I would still get to see Lauren aka Ariel, though!

And then Marissa woke up and they brought her in...


On Halloween, Marissa was not feeling well so she went to bed early and didn't get to dress up but Lauren more than made up for her lack of participation. I took Lauren trick-or-treating and she literally had the time of her life. She took inventory of her candy situation after each house and for awhile could name which house gave her which treat, it was so funny. We did two streets in the cold and sometimes rain, and I know her feet hurt from the Ariel shoes she wanted so badly to wear, and then she was happy to come home and look at all of her treats and pass out candy to the last stragglers coming by. It really was a super fun night for all of us, except maybe Marissa.


At the beginning of November, Lauren started dance classes. The instructor comes to school and they do ballet and tap once a week; this was her first day, she was so excited.


Marissa also started to sit up on her own and is content just to hang out on the floor with a toy; this is one of her favorites.


And of course, as Halloween passes, we come to Lauren's birthday. This might have topped Halloween as her best day ever. Grandma and Granddad Sager came in for the occasion and when she woke up, she opened her presents from the family. After naptime, we had her birthday party at Gymboree and all of her best friends came - she was in heaven! I don't think the smile left her face the entire two hours, she was so happy and had so much fun!!


The next morning, since family was going to be in for Lauren's birthday, Marissa was baptized at our church. The service was really nice, and Ollie, the pastor, brought all of the children from the congregation up and they were on the steps below us. Lauren decided to lay down on the altar for some crazy reason but Marissa was a complete angel and smiled and hammed it up for everyone.


And then we celebrated Thanksgiving with the Stancills and their Nana. Rob cooked an amazing turkey and we feasted while keeping in mind all that we have to be thankful for, we truly are blessed.


This weekend we decorated the house for Christmas, and much like Halloween and her birthday, Lauren gets the concepts of holidays now so that makes everything so much more magical. She wore this hat all weekend long, it is an Ariel one and she got it for her birthday - she even matched the pajamas to it several times.


Today Marissa turns seven months old, she is past the halfway mark for her first year. She is a good eater, and not surprising, she prefers fruits to veggies. As I said, she loves sitting up and this weekend we set up the play zone, the one Lauren used to play in. Marissa is trying so hard to crawl but just can't get her hind region to cooperate, although she's very good at maneuvering around to get where she needs to be. I must confess that I want this one to stay immobile and my baby for as long as possible so I'm not complaining. No teeth yet either, but everything goes in the mouth - a challenge with a three-year-old who has toys and costume jewelery everywhere. Marissa is just a very sweet and happy baby and is Lauren's biggest fan, the two of them laugh hard at each other on the way home from school, it's my favorite sound in the world!

Too Inspired To Be Tired

Participating in the Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk was one of the most life-changing events I have ever experienced. Besides my wedding and the births of my two daughters, this single weekend event has created a feeling that is indescribable, almost euphoric.

I signed up to do this walk last year when my good friend Sara decided to create a team and since I've always wanted to be a part of this event, I decided, why not? Our team of ten was born and we began fund-raising and training. Keep in mind, I was pregnant with Marissa for the first several months of this process. The fund-raising was stressful: I had never done anything like this before and I loathe asking people for money, I almost get embarrassed having to do it. Sara kept reminding me that the money I'm asking for isn't for me, but for the cause. After family and friends generously donated and three fund-raising events later, I had reached my fund-raising goal and could now focus on training.

Training. I won't lie and say I didn't also have another motivation behind signing up for this walk: being forced to walk often and far should help with the leftover baby weight, right? Wow, did I underestimate/forget/fall into complete denial that with a newborn and a very-busy-two-year-old comes a complete lack of energy and time. What was I thinking? Getting away for chunks of time to walk miles is nearly impossible even with the most helpful husband and father in the world. In the end, the most walking I had done in one training session was six miles and that was even a couple of weeks ago. How on earth was I going to finish TWENTY miles, and then get up and do it again the next day and the next??

Last Thursday, as my friends and co-workers were wishing me luck and telling me to have a wonderful weekend, I was very cynical, saying I couldn't wait until Monday when this whole thing would be behind me. I was a nervous wreck to be honest, full of anxiety, and worried too much about leaving Rob with the girls and all that entails for three days. I stopped being able to sleep last Wednesday and completely lost my appetite because of the stress of it all. I was very nervous about camping outside, I am strictly an indoor girl. I was ready to back out should anything come up, and there was no question that if one of the girls got sick, I would not have gone.

Nothing happened, so my over-the-35-pound-weight-limit suitcase and I got picked up on Thursday night for the lake house that we would stay in since the walk started pretty far north of the city. I left my house amidst pure chaos, very worried about Rob. I called him an hour later to check on him and while the girls were put to bed and he was fed, I still had a feeling of dread. I spent another sleepless night creating all sorts of ridiculous scenarios in my head for the coming three days: I would collapse after seven miles and seasoned walkers would step over my body while shaking their heads at my obvious lack of training; I would get picked up by the sweeper vans while my friends waved good-bye because they were feeling good and could keep going; or worse yet, I would probably fall or trip or twist my ankle and have to be on crutches for the next six weeks.


Day 1, fun! Sara, seasoned 3 Day vet that she is, knew that we needed to be at the opening ceremonies early, near the front of the stage in order to be close to the front starting out. It was powerful and emotional, and we were set free to begin the walk at the end of the program to U2's "Beautiful Day".

The sea of pink in front of me continued for the next three days, and the previous thoughts in my head were somehow erased - there was no anxiety, no stress and certainly no negativity. The crew, the walkers, my teammates - all were excited and eager, chit-chatting happily along. They had several pit stops mapped out throughout the day, every couple of miles, and I almost fell over when I got to the first one and saw the smorgasbord waiting for me - bagels with cream cheese, oranges, bananas, several kinds of crackers, two different kinds of peanuts, pb&j Jamwiches, string cheese, granola bars galore. I made the typical rookie mistake of taking almost one of everything as if it were my last meal. Did I really need a bagel, cream cheese, a banana, Jamwich, and peanuts? That's as much as I normally eat in a day! I packed the extra away in my handy hip pack for later and away we went; we were in a little farm country at this point and it was interesting scenery. Not long after, and hello, another pit stop. At every pit stop, there were crew members cheering and welcoming us in, loud and fun music playing, just plain old-fashioned goodwill. No matter how bad your feet or legs or gluteus maximus ached just a minute before, it was hard not to smile and shake your booty a little heading into the pit stops. The 3 Day organization knows what it really means to renew and refresh, sending us back on the trail with a little more spring in the step.

And then there are the cheering stations - sections that are established for family and friends or random strangers to come out and cheer us on. They held signs, and passed out candy, and thanked us a million times over for doing what we were doing. And those people were not just at cheering stations, they were randomly on the route. We named one guy "Bama boy", who seemed to be turning up every couple of hours, driving ahead, parking and cheering. It turns out that his wife was walking with us, and when I met her on Sunday I told her he was our biggest cheerleader out there, and how we watched for him all weekend long and when he disappeared on Saturday afternoon, we guessed correctly that he was inside watching Alabama football. There were many women who brought their daughters out, all dressed in pink, to see us. I teared up when one woman handed me a sticker she had printed that read, "You inspired a child today" and her beautiful little girls were cheering and holding buckets of Blow Pops for us. The girl scout troops were out for us in full force, trays of Girl Scout cookies lined up. Those cheering stations were the best medicine for aching muscles and sore feet, I will miss having those in every day life!

On Friday morning, before we left our hotel, Stephanie, Sara and I powwowed non-stop about the rain-time game plan since it was in the forecast for the day. Sara thought that if it came after lunch and we had done a fair amount of walking, that we would get on the bus and head back to camp. At lunch, we knew it was coming and fast, so we pulled the ponchos out and got back on the trail to see how bad it would get. We pretty much got dumped on. While there was ample opportunity to get on one of those sweeper vans, somehow without saying a word, Sara and I knew we were going to try to tough it out. We also knew Stephanie was miserable in the rain and now cold, but some cheerleader in me that I never knew existed came out and I encouraged her (and really me) on and on with the promise of sunshine up ahead - I could see a little sliver of blue sky way up and to the right, regardless of the nasty black cloud above us. When we cruised into that next pit stop, we were mixed on whether to get on the bus right then, and even more so when Stephanie and I changed our wet socks and we discovered two nasty blisters each. I had to hit the medical tent for a lesson on blister first-aid. At that point, we were only two miles from the end of the day and hearing that one of us was number 495 out of 2780 walkers coming in inspired us to go on and finish the day. The crew was waiting for us at camp, once again, cheering us in and that's probably when I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was exactly where I belonged and needed to be. I was so proud I thought I would burst.


Day 2, woohoo! On the bus ride to the day's starting point, I disclosed the things that I would do differently for next year, like coordinate team colors all three days and not just the first day. Sara suggested that we should wear green the first day so we could find each other in said sea of pink and it was genius. We could spot each other across camp or across pit stops quickly. We didn't carry the theme over the next two days and definitely should in the future. Without even thinking about it, though, I had come to the decision that I would do this walk again next year. In 24 hours, I had done a 180 degree turn.

Rob and the girls were waiting for me at that first cheering station on Saturday and I power walked those first 2.5 miles to get to them as fast as I could. Hugging my family was the best feeling ever! As the day wore on and it looked like we were once again towards the front of the pack and hence would be finished early, I coordinated with Rob to meet me at the end and I got to spend a couple of hours with them before heading back to camp for dinner with the team. Hallelujah, my own shower and a flushing toilet plus my girls and Rob for over an hour, pure bliss. May I never again take for granted indoor plumbing after using porta-potties for three days straight!

Each night at camp, there was entertainment and recognitions, but on Saturday night, there was Dance Party. Yes, after walking all day and being dog-tired, they plan a dance party, and I am talking about the real-deal, shake your groove thing, dancing. I learned the Cupid Shuffle (kind of - as well as I'm ever going to, anyhow) and then Sara pulled me up on stage to dance because "when are we ever going to dance on stage again?". Definitely one of the most memorable dances of my life.


Day 3, yippee!!! Sunday was the coldest morning yet, but with the forecast of lots of sunshine. It was a perfect Georgia day, the kind that is perfectly clear and crisp. Closing ceremonies began at 5:30 so everyone was walking with purpose today. The end of the line was Turner Field and we were in "holding" while we cheered other walkers to the finish. Once again, the closing program was highly emotional and there was lots of hugging and crying in the end. Rob had come for it and I was very excited to get home and see the girls when it was over.


These past several days have taught me more about myself and people in general than the past ten years have. I have never been a cheerleader before, nor have I ever been told that I've inspired anyone. I experienced both this weekend. There was such a feeling of positivity and love and kindness, I want everyone I know to experience the same thing. Jenna, the emcee for the 3 Day weekend, said on Saturday that life isn't about things, it's about people. I made a new friend in Kristin while walking and got to know Judy much better. I met a man who lost his wife last June after she battled breast cancer for nine years. She left behind a sixteen and a thirteen year-old daughter and he had to just take the older one dress shopping for her first big dance - a mother's job. A hospice nurse's T-shirt read, "I'm walking to lose my job". Everyone walking has a story, a reason for walking. Our team had a survivor walking with us, and two survivors working on the crew, most of us have daughters. There was $5.7 million dollars raised by the walkers this weekend. The 3 Day organization will not stop until they find a cure for this disease, and I intend to keep fighting with them. Who is walking with me next year??

What We've Been Doing

I am still trying to figure out how to balance work (and it's only four days a week!) with keeping the house and everyone in it going from day-to-day. I actually breathe a sigh of relief when I get to my desk at work in the morning because everyone is where they should be and then the anxiety starts up again at 4:00 because I know that the next three hours are going to be chaotic at best, and I'm at the mercy of how well the girls did in school - did they nap and for long enough, what their moods are going to be (mostly Lauren's on this one). I feel like I am never going to be caught up again but at least we have some semblance of a routine beginning to emerge daily. And knowing that this is how it is does make it easier to deal with, oddly enough.

One day, Marissa was so worn out from school that she fell asleep on her mat right in the middle of playing.

Since my last post, Marissa has begun eating oatmeal, and like Lauren did, she loves the stuff.

Rob's parents plus Amanda and Riley came to visit for a weekend and while it rained buckets and I thought we were going to have to send them off in an ark, it was a nice visit and Lauren and Riley had a great time together.

They started putting Marissa in the exersaucer at school so we pulled ours out and yep, she loves it!



It wouldn't be fall without a trip to the pumpkin patch and we went this past weekend. Lauren and her friends had a ball, Marissa was just happy to be there.

Bye, Bye Summer

The beginning of the school year was a couple of weeks ago, Labor Day weekend is past and football season is underway; sadly, another summer is over.

The first Hokies game of the season was this past weekend and Rob dressed the girls.

On one of the days I was off and both girls were awake at the same time, Lauren asked to hold Marissa and I figured, why not? Lauren was thrilled and Marissa looked petrified. Poor girl, she's getting more used to it these days, luckily.

Lauren wanted Marissa to have some company while she was hanging out on the floor so she set her baby dolls up around her. She is very into her baby dolls now and loves that Marissa's toys and apparatuses are so conducive to entertaining Medicine (formerly known as Madison) and Maddie.

Our very-busy-almost-three-year-old is listening to everything we are talking about, she has become a little sponge who regurgitates everything back at some point, and usually in context too - we have to be very careful what we say when Lauren's awake. Plus she asks "why" of everything we say or ask her to do, which is tons of fun for us. One day, she was trying to convince me of something and popped out with, "Just trust me, Mommy," then turned her head as if I couldn't see or hear her and said under her breath, "Oh, my word." Over the weekend she told me she "had her eye on me" - yes, honey, and your ears too, I know.

Tonight after dinner she rattled off the days of the week, then settled in to do a puzzle of the United States that is a little old for her so I've helped her with it in the past. Wanting no help from Rob or myself this time, she finished it, then cleaned up all of her toys and came upstairs for bath and bed - no complaints or stalling. As this was going on, I was putting Marissa into a pair of Lauren's old pajamas which are still my favorite, while she was holding on to her toes and laughing because I couldn't get her into them, partly because she is already outgrowing them. Why are my girls growing up so fast??

Our Whirlwind August

I am shocked to realize that August has passed me by, although I can't complain too much - we have had a wonderful month!

This was Marissa's first day of school and also her first picture sitting unaided.


Marissa turned three months old on my first day back at work. She was just beginning to sit nicely in the bouncer seat, not slouching or falling to the side. I was making dinner and for some reason, Lauren insisted on wearing that windbreaker while she "cooked" in her own kitchen. She came running over as soon as I grabbed the camera to get a picture of Marissa and they looked so sweet, I'm glad she joined in.

One weekend in July, Rob and I were lamenting the fact that we would not have a beach trip this year; we knew with Marissa's arrival that going on vacation would be out of the question - a trip with a newborn is not a vacation, it's just extra work without the comforts of home. By the end of that weekend, though, we were scouring websites for a vacation rental in Florida's panhandle, and by Monday night we had secured a house for a long weekend in August. Rob asked his mom to come and help us with the girls, especially since Marissa would not be able to be out in the sun - she kindly obliged and we were so excited about our upcoming trip. So basically, I went back to work and then left the next week for five glorious days on the beach!

Marissa's first time at the beach, we went out really early before it got too hot. I had forgotten to pack hats for her, but Lauren was kind enough to share her Ariel one for the occasion.


This was a raft we had bought for Lauren when we got down there but it served as a perfect seat when she wanted to have her snacks.

Lauren had so much fun playing at the beach, she ran back and forth between the water and our chairs non-stop but then was doing this crazy slide and dive into the sand only to pop up and repeat the whole thing.


Thanks again, Grandma, for coming with us - we loved having you along and we really appreciated all of your help!

The next week, my third week back at work, Rob left for his annual golf trip and my sister and niece came to stay with us, we had a wonderful girls weekend! We only ventured out a couple of times - having three kids between two adults, even three as good as ours are, is not the easiest. It didn't matter, Lauren and Kaity played together and Marissa was on her own schedule, so it was nice to have time at home with them all. I loved having them here and hated dropping them off at the airport. Karin and I are the always the ones holding up the terminal drop-off lane because we're crying and hugging and crying some more.

We had a birthday party to go to for one of Lauren's friends, and while we managed to get a picture of Karin with the girls, we never thought to have someone at the party take one of all of us. That always happens to me!

This was Marissa's first time sitting in the Bumbo seat. She is really holding herself up well so I thought I would try it. This week at school, she also rolled over from her stomach to her back, and then showed off for us that night. I was hoping that Marissa would be a little slower on these kinds of things than Lauren was - I swear that I never got to enjoy any time of her staying put in one place - she took off crawling practically as soon as she could sit. I guess we'll see if Marissa is going to be another over-achiever or if she'll be content just to hang out and take things slowly.

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Today is my last day at home with Marissa, I start back to work on Wednesday and I am taking her to school tomorrow for a shortened day. I'm pretty torn up about it, I'm not going to sugarcoat it; I was the same way when it was time for Lauren to start school. It's so cruel that just when the babies start to communicate and smile and get active, it's time to go back to work and send them to day care. I mean, the huge toothless smile that I get when she wakes up melts my heart every single time, I want to freeze time and space forever and just live in that bliss.

Marissa and I exist in what I can only describe as a perfect little bubble. She is on a great feeding/sleeping routine so while she naps I do all of the daily chores or run errands with her. I have made dinner almost every night for the past several weeks, things are in order in my house. We pick Lauren up in the afternoons daily, sometimes earlier and sometimes it's at the regular time, depending on the schedule. And the whole time I am playing house and mommy, there is a paycheck hitting my account every two weeks. What's not to love about any of that?

I also know the enormous guilt that will befall me as I drive to work on Wednesday, it comes with the territory. That was the part I wasn't ready for the last time, but now I know it is looming. And there are no less than 100 things to feel guilty about, on both ends of the working mom spectrum. I firmly believe in balance in life, so I have to believe that by working four days per week, I am doing the best that I can for my family, me and my job. I try not to let that "but" interject next: but is it enough and worth it? Luckily, I can see the benefits that Lauren has reaped by being in school these past two years, that helps get me through the day. I was a finance major, not an education one - it is a self-deprecating fact that I am a lousy teacher, my kids are a thousand times better off with professionals shaping their future schooling needs. I am better at supplying the rest.

So my maternity leave comes to a close and we begin a new chapter, the one where chaos and juggling acts and stress abound but we will make the best of it, trying to enjoy and capture as much as we can as the girls grow up and become amazing little people. I know the grass isn't always greener, I'm just going to miss that perfect gummy smile all day long.

Five Years

Today is my five year wedding anniversary. I'm more than a little frightened by how quickly the last five years have gone by and since they say time speeds up the older one gets, I'll be writing our ten year anniversary post next month. Seriously, though, the past five years have treated us very well, I couldn't ask for anything more. Except maybe a puppy. I'm kidding, Rob, that was a joke. I can just see the look on your face right now.

In five years, we've had two kids and two houses. Rob's had two jobs. We went from in-town to the suburbs. We buried a beloved dog. We've taken many wonderful and memorable trips. I'm on my third car since we got married. Rob still has his beloved Jeep that he bought before we even got engaged. That Jeep and his fierce loyalty to it is the epitome of why I love him - he is steadfast, a rock. He continues to be my grounding factor, he is my perfect complement. He agonizes about making decisions, which drives me insane, but it always ends up working out and for the best. He is the first person I turn to with good news or bad, mundane events or huge scoop. And that doesn't even scratch the surface of what an amazing father he is. The girls absolutely adore him, simply put. I do too.

The Brad Paisley song "Then" sums the last five years up perfectly for me: "..and I thought I loved you then." I am blessed and lucky to have Rob as my partner on this crazy journey. There is never a dull (or quiet) moment, but I don't think either of us would have it any other way. Without wishing it away, I cannot wait to see what the next five to fifty years has in store for us. Happy anniversary, Rob!!!!

Round Two

This past weekend, we took our second road trip in three weeks, this time to Virginia to see Rob's family.
Car hours: 22.
Hours Marissa slept on the way there: 1.5.
Hours Marissa was awake on the way home: 1.5.
Times the Cars movie was viewed: 3; The Little Mermaid: 2; Tinkerbell: 1.
Number of smells lingering in the backseat that I could identify that made me pass on lunch: 3 (Lauren's congealed milk left in the car from the day before, her spilled apple juice and Marissa's car seat which was spit up on way too many times to count)
Potty breaks: no less than 15

We had a lovely weekend with Rob's family - Lauren got to spend lots of time with our niece Riley and also Kyle, our step-nephew, plus Marissa got to meet her extended family on that side. The highlight of the weekend for me, though, was going to brunch at the Officer's Club on Fort Belvoir, which sits on the Potomac River and where Rob's Dad is a member. Even though my Dad was in the military for years, I had never been on an Army base like that before and I found it to be pristine and impressive. I loved how it felt like its own little town - there didn't seem to be any reason to leave base if you were stationed there. I also imagined that the military families are very close-knit and I can see how an atmosphere like that would be a comfort when family members are deployed overseas. It has really left an impression on me and puts a real face on our military and their families.

Lauren in the window seat by our table at the Officer's Club, it was a beautiful view.


Cousins..
Grandma was in Heaven with her girls..

All in all, it was a great weekend filled with family and excellent food!

Blurbs from the 'Burbs

This is my friend Sara. She is My Friend Who Doesn't Drink Bloody Mary's. Sara and her family (including Mimi, which I am very excited about!) are coming over this weekend for a Fourth of July cookout. I have been working on the menu and decided that I really want to make a tomato pie, except I've lost my recipe for it and emailed her to see if she had one. It then dawned on me that maybe she doesn't like tomatoes since she doesn't like Bloody Mary's. This was her reply: "I love tomatoes. A Bloody Mary tastes nothing like a tomato." This has made me laugh all morning for some reason. I will have my signature birthday one while she's running in the Peachtree Road Race - you go, girl!


Look at my big girl, she loves to make muffins on the weekends and is getting very good at it. There's hardly any mess and she takes it very seriously, she even insisted on putting on a nice shirt, skirt and matching hair bow for the occasion, even though it was only 7:00 am on a Saturday.


I put this outfit on Marissa this morning and it is too small; it appears that she has outgrown the "newborn" sized clothes, that's very sad to me. What I am not sad about is the fact that she slept for six hours last night and then four - thank you, sweet girl!!!


It is not a coincidence that all of Lauren's character toys are face down - I have been noticing them all over the house this way. Apparently they have been "put to night" which means "sleeping" in our house. There is so much going on in her little mind, it's things like this that make me stop to wonder at the world, as seen through her eyes.